Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

Spring is here

A-suh-puh-ring is here

Life is skittles and life is beer

I think the loveliest time

Of the year is the spring

I do, don't you? 'Course you do

But there's one thing

That makes spring complete for me

And makes every Sunday

A treat for me

All the world seems in tune

On a spring afternoon

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

Every Sunday you'll see

My sweetheart and me

As we poison the pigeons in the park

When they see us coming

The birdies all try and hide

But they still go for peanuts

When coated with cyanide

The sun's shining bright

Everything seems all right

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We've gained notoriety

And caused much anxiety

In the Audubon Society

With our games

They call it impiety

And lack of propriety

And quite a variety

Of unpleasant names

But it's not against any religion

To want to dispose of a pigeon

So if Sunday you're free

Why don't you come with me

And we'll poison the pigeons in the park

And maybe we'll do

In a squirrel or two

While we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We'll murder them all

Amid laughter and merriment

Except for the few

We take home to experiment

My pulse will be quickenin'

With each drop of strychnine

We feed to a pigeon

(It just takes a smidgin!)

To poison a pigeon in the park