Jock-O-Rama (aka Macho-Rama)

You really like gorillas? We've got just the pet for you

It's the way you're forced to act to survive our schools

Make your whole life revolve around sports

Walk tough, don't act too smart

Be a mean machine then we'll help you get ahead

Jock-o-Rama, save my soul

We're under the thumb of the beef patrol

The future of America is in their hands

Watch it roll over Niagara Falls

Pep rally in the holy temple and you're forced to go

Masturbate en masse with the favored religious cult

Cheerleaders yell "ra ra team"

From the locker room parades the prime beef

When archaeologists dig this up they'll either laugh or cry

Jock-o-Rama on the brain

Redneck-a-thon driving me insane

The future of America is in their hands

Watch it roll over Niagara Falls

Unzip that old-time religion

On the almighty football field

Beer bellies of all ages

Come to watch the gladiators bleed

"Now boys, this game ain't played for fun"

"You're going out there to win"

"How do you win?"

"Get out there and snap the other guy's knee"

Beat 'em up! Beat 'em up! - Ra Ra Ra!

Snap those spinal cords - Ha Ha Ha!

Beat 'em up! Beat 'em up! - Ra Ra Ra!

Snap those spinal cords - Ha Ha Ha!

The star quarterback lies injured

Unconscious on the football field

Looks like his neck's been broken

Seems to happen somewhere every year

His mom and dad clutch themselves and cry

Their favorite son will never walk again

Coach says "That boy gave a hundred percent"

"What spirit, what a man!"

But who cares? Game's over!

Let's go get wasted, man!

To the 7-11, to the liquor store!

Let's party all night and party some more!

Another Trans-Am's wrapped itself around a telephone pole

"I ain't drunk officer, I just fell getting out of my car"

"Don't worry about it, son, we were that way when we were young"

"You've got all the skills to make a damn good businessman"

Jock-o-Rama, save my soul

We're under the thumb of the beef patrol

The future of America is in their hands

Watch it roll over Niagara Falls

Jock-o-Rama, that's the law

Come lick the butts of the beef patrol

If the future of America is handed to them

Watch it roll over Niagara Falls