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A spoof of “Ya Got Trouble” from The Music Man
The Monorail Man, Lyle Lanley, dupes the people of Springfield into funding a monorail for the city which turns out to be a decrepit and inoperable mess.[Lyle Lanley]
You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it
[Homer]
Heh-heh, mule
[Lyle Lanley]
The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Shelbyville idea
[Mayor Quimby]
Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it
[Lyle Lanley]
All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea. I give you the Springfield Monorail!
I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!
[Lyle Lanley]
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail!
What'd I say?
[Ned Flanders]
Monorail!
[Lyle Lanley]
What's it called?
[Patty and Selma]
Monorail!
[Lyle Lanley]
That's right!
Monorail!
[All]
Monorail... monorail... monorail...
[Miss Hoover]
I hear those things are awfully loud...
[Lyle Lanley]
It glides as softly as a cloud
[Apu]
Is there a chance the track could bend?
[Lyle Lanley]
Not on your life, my Hindu friend
[Barney]
What about us brain-dead slobs?
[Lyle Lanley]
You'll be given cushy jobs
[Abe]
Were you sent here by the devil?
[Lyle Lanley]
No, good sir, I'm on the level
[Wiggum]
The ring came off my pudding can
[Lyle Lanley]
Take my pen knife, my good man
I swear it's Springfield's only choice
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
[All]
Monorail!
[Lyle Lanley]
What's it called?
[All]
Monorail!
[Lyle Lanley]
Once again...
[All]
Monorail!
[Marge]
But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...
[Bart]
Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
[All]
Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
[Homer]
Mono...d'oh!
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