Hebetation

I don't know which way to run

1,000 different ways but I can't seem to live with one

So I'm stuck where I've begun

Another languid day, can't seem to break away

When I was young I tried a million different ways to find

A panacea that would hebetate a restless mind

25 and all I find are clever ways to hide

Every night I dream a million different ways for me to die

Every night I close my eyes

I lie awake and try to pacify a listless mind

Nothing's changed at 35

Still every night I dream a million different ways for me to die