99 Words for Boobs - Robert Lund

Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds

Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas

Sweater stretchers, lung protectors

Beach umbrellas, frost detectors

Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice

Jell-o molds and high-beam lights

Every day I probably use

99 words for boobs

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys

Double lattes, Ode to Joys

Hooters, shooters, physics tutors

Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters

Double-WMD's

MRE's and PFD's

Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes

99 words for boobs

Gerber servers, holy grails

Whoopee cushions, humpback whales

Flying saucers, traffic stoppers

Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers

Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos

Soft-serve cones and armadillos

Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes

99 words for boobs

Midget earmuffs, warming globes

Strobes and probes and frontal lobes

Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers

Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers

Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs

Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs

Jogging partners, saline noobs

99 words for boobs

Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers

Rubber baby buggy bumpers

Rutabagas, Chi Omegas

Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas

Congo bongos, bowling pins

Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins

Your claims I'm breast-obsessed are true

We're quite a pair 'cause I'm a boob too