Hate Song

Momma always said that hate was a strong, strong word

Poppa always said that words of hate should never be heard

But I'm getting older and I just cannot lie

There are things I hate, no matter how hard I try

I hate traffic, I hate dirt in my eyes

I hate spiders, and I hate girlfriends that lie

I hate cancer, I hate cauliflower pie

But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy, I hate that guy

The good book says that we should love everyone

And I'm doing my best, but it's easier said than done

This new guy was a good friend of mine before

Caught him with my girl in his mustang ford

I hate taxes, I hate stink bugs and flies

I hate rug burns, and I hate polka-dot ties

I hate Mike Tyson, 'cause he'll bite your ear then bust you in the eye

But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy, I hate that guy

I was sittin' down by myself, I was having a coke

I heard someone laughing real loud at a real dumb joke

I recognized the voice so I turned around

It was my ex-girlfriend's new guy, can't stand that clown

He walked up to me with a really sorry look on his face

And he said, man I done you wrong but now she's gone and I've been replaced

I know I don't deserve to have you as a friend because I played the fool

But I'm really hurtin' man, can I just pull up a stool

So he started crying and saying how he loved that girl

She got with a new guy and it rocked his world

He asked me how I dealt with it when she dumped me

And I said, I just talked about stuff I hate man, it's like therapy

And he said, really, I said yeah, yeah, give it a shot go ahead

I hate pimples, I hate hemorrhoids and hives

I hate funerals, I hate unsalted fries

I hate Britney spears because she never returns any of the letters that I Write

But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy

Wouldn't mind if someone huge fell on his head and he died

Like a bus, or a truck, or a meteorite

A hippopotamus, a rhinoceros or even a pig if it was falling fast from a great height

Ooo, I hate that guy