Sex Changes

Ha!

Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. Sender

We're pleased to inform you that your application's been accepted

Starting from the time you get this letter

Your life will be one never-ending

"Hope you're feeling better"

You get your choice of an aesthetic

Ah, ah, ah, ah

We'll need to chop your clock off

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock

It might not be what you expected

Ohh-oh-oh

There is no money back once you've been ripped off, ripped off, ripped off

Today's a very special day

Ohh-oh

The boys'll murder for it, but what will the neighbors say?

It leaves you feeling pretty hollow

It might be nice to look at

Don't forget you're stuck with it tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

You're big enough to stop pretending

You'll start to really show within a week or so

So don't go saying it's just come to your attention

Ohh-oh-oh

You'll get more than you're asking for without the right protection

Today's a very special day

Ohh-oh

And how you'd love to have a little thing with which to play

But love won't get you very far, oh

Today be still your beating heart

You'll have to keep on feeding it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Boys will be boys

Will be boys will be boys

Will be boys will be boys

Will be girls

With no warning, ah-ah

Girls will be girls

Will be guys

Will be boys

That don't cry

Over toys

That they use

To beat girls

They despise

By the morning, oh

They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you

No second thoughts, the knife is nearing

You'll never hear the little pitter-patter, pitter-patter

Of this little feat of engineering

Ohh-oh-oh

Of course I love you, and of course it's what's inside that matters

But I think the whole charade is ending

Ah, ah, ah

It seems to me to be the only way to keep from getting

Caught up in a long life of regretting

The doctors said that once you get a taste for it you'll keep on cutting

But while we happen to be here

Ohh-oh

Why don't you whisper all those sweet forevers in my ear

Stiff upper lip in all this sorrow

Hurry up and stick it in

You never know when it will end tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow

Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow

End tomorrow, end tomorrow, end tomorrow

Ohh-oh

They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you

Ha!