The Smartphone Hour (Rich Set a Fire)

OMG Chloe, answer me

Whoa, wait until I tell you what I heard!

It's too fucked to type, this shit is ripe

Call back, I'll yell your every word

Jenna Rolan calling

Ugh, Jenna Rolan calling

Jenna Rolan calling

Hey!

Oh my god, oh my god

Okay, so!

At the end of last night's party

Very end of last night's party

Did you see Rich?

Oh, I saw Rich

So he's behaving hazy like a tweakin' junky

Flailing crazy like a freakin' monkey

He's gotta learn to handle his high

Shouldn't drink so much for a small guy

Right, but, he wasn't drunk

The hell you say, Jenna?

Yo, he wasn't drunk!

The hell you say, Jenna?

No! Because I heard from Dustin Kropp

That Rich had barely touched a drop

Which means that you can't blame the things he did on alcohol

It's just so terrible, I don't want to relive it all

But do you want me to tell you?

Spit it out! Spit it out!

You really want me to tell you?

Spit it out! Spit it out!

I'll tell you 'cause you are my closest friend!

No, I'm not

Yeah, I know

But here's what happened at the party's end

Rich set a fire, and he burned down the house!

Whoa

Rich set a fire, and he burned down the house!

Whoa

I thought I was dreaming

Everybody was screaming!

When Rich set a fire, and he burned down the house

When Rich set a fire, and he burned down the house

OMG Brooke, answer me

Look, wait until I tell you what I saw!

Ignore!

And also space and frowny face

I'm sorry that Jeremy made out with me at the party

But it was totally his fault

And let's not let boys ever come between us ever again, okay?

Smiley face, lipstick, kitty paw

Hey, we're cool?

We are

Okay, so!

At the end of last night's party

Did you see Rich?

No, I was crying

So he's behaving weird and I was frightened

'Cause I feared his state was heightened

He's gotta learn to not really smoke a lot

He shouldn't get so high for a tiny guy

He's gotta learn to not really smoke a lot

He shouldn't get so high for a tiny guy

Right, but, he wasn't high!

So you can't blame the things he did on pot

It's just so awful, so I'll talk about it a lot

Rich set a fire, and he burned down the house!

Whoa

I thought I was dreaming

Everybody was screaming!

When Rich set a fire, and he burned down the house

When Rich set a fire, and he burned down the house

Hey, Everybody! Have you heard?

Rich set a fire, now go send the word!

Sending a text

Text!

Sending a tweet

Tweet!

Sending a text

Text!

Tweet

Tweet!

Release the information, step, and repeat!

I'll spread the word!

Word!

That Rich is flecked

Flecked?

No, I meant fucked

Did I say 'flecked'?

Sorry guys, that's just my autocorrect

Always be aware of autocorrect!

R-I-C-H, can't you see?

Just how much I care about your tragedy?

Change my profile pic to you

Now I full understand what you're going through

R-I-C-H, it's a drag

I read, she read, they read you're in a body bag

R-I-C-H, can't you see?

Just how much I love your tragedy

Hi, hi, hi, ho

Yo, yo, yo, yo

Sup, sup, sup, sup

Fire

Ha, ha

Talk it, text it, pass it, talk it!

Whoa

Ready? Okay

Here we go!

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

Whoa

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

It was so terribly gory

I got the whole bloody story

Yeah, I wasn't quite there

But I know what happened I swear!

When Rich set a fire and he burned the house down

When Rich set a fire and he leveled the town

When Rich set a fire and he fled to Bombay

When Rich set a fire 'cause he knew he was gay

When Rich set a fire and he melted his head

When Rich set a fire and he's totally dead

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

Burned it down!

Whoa

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Did ya hear? Did ya hear?

Burned it down!

Whoa

Did ya hear? Did ya hear?

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Burned it down!

Whoa

Did ya hear? Did ya hear?

That Rich set a fire and he burned down the

Rich set a fire and he burned down the

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

He told me 'cause he's my best friend!

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

Send!