In Loving Memory

When trying hard not to remember makes you think about it more

I stand up straight, you measure, and you mark it on the door

Never saw you walk on water

But I watched you mother four

You couldn't raise me like a father

When we're choking on our child support

Well, am I smart?

Or just thinking really hard?

Destined for dementia

Doomed right from the very start

And our trauma bond was tangled in tape from the VCR

So sick to my stomach

I was force-fed the fear of the dark

And when you lose all muscle memory

Forget completely how to stand

You know I won't let you forget me

I'll come convince you who I am

Make you understand

Touch and go

Now you see me now you don't

Phantom limb affection

Crave the feeling of your ghost

Now you're forging all the symptoms that you

Never had supposed

Learning to live with them

Said it's easier to live alone

Sick from the soothing

Drowning in dreams

Shellshocked in shelter

You'll pass in your sleep

The thorn in my side was grown from your ground

You're never before seen, never again found

And when you lose all muscle memory

Forget completely how to stand

You know I won't let you forget me

I'll come convince you who I am

I came to see

How the world looks without me

Is it all you thought it'd be?

Living in loving memory

You built me a home inside a bucket

And you're poking some holes up top so I can breathe

Knew I was lying

If I had to look away

Do you think we'd be friends when we were younger?

If I knew you back then, God knows who I would be

Walking in semi-circles

To shape this baby face

You built me a home inside a bucket

And you're poking some holes up top so I can breathe

Knew I was lying

If I had to look away

Do you think we'd be friends when we were younger?

If I knew you back then, God knows who I would be

Walking in semi-circles

To shape this baby face

A picture portrait of you, you're pouting

Plucked from the days where you couldn't feel a thing

A thousand words and always counting

But you, I can't explain