Reign Of Error - Sudden Death

[Tom Rockwell, Tom's computer]

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please explain)

I'm at the final column of the quarterly report

And I've been overcaffeinated since a quarter to 4

I think I need a little more, cause this is the only way

I can make it through another 22-hour day

Then as I fear, things begin to get weird

And the bottom left corner of my screen disappeared

I don't think I like the sound that my computer is makin'

And I'm not really sure, but I think I smell bacon

This can't be happening, I was almost done

But now my backups are gone, and I'm back to square (one)

I have to do it all again, the whole thing is trashed

This time I'll use an abacus because hey, they don't crash

Boot it up again, hoping that it's all clear

But my C:/ drive is my D:/ drive and my D:/ drive disappeared

My computer logs me in as somebody named Sam

I can't get on the internet, and yet I get spam

And here's another error, I don't understand

Why I can't find my mouse when it's right in my hand

But what really ticks me off is when I think about the jerks

Who got rich sellin' me all this junk that doesn't work

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please ready- one, two, three, four)

When my computer booted up, I wanted to boot it real hard

'Cause my motherboard went and aborted the daughtercard

My modem dialed China, and I couldn't make it stop

And my router started blinkin' like a Star Trek prop

Its auto-updates, although I don't know what for

With every one my computer sucks a little more

Things'll break or run slow enough to cause me great anguish

Now my printer's spittin' out some kind of alien language

A word processor should be simple stuff

So why is four billion bits of memory not enough?

I click a menu, pause, and watch the hours pass

As my life drains away down an hourglass

While I'm waiting for my mouse to respond to a click

I make a voodoo doll out of a paperclip

So when that Office thing appears and tries to drive me insane

I can maim and mutilate the thing and cause it some pain

They put a man on the moon with 32K

And I can't put my name on this report without it crashin' today

Since I can't save or even click on a menu

I'll hit any key with a hammer to continue

What are you doing, Tom?

Um, working on a new song?

I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Tom

What? Why not?

Because nobody likes your music

What are you talking about?! I sold almost 10 copies of my last CD!

I'm sorry, Tom. I'm afraid I'm going to have to crash now

What- no, wait, just let me save what I've done!

BZZZT

DAMN IT!

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please be quiet, I am nauseous)

I start to twitch, and my neck gets sore

As the vein in my brain starts to throb a little more

'Cause I got pop-up ads that just don't wanna stop

But I'm not even online, and I'm in Photoshop

And now I'm screamin' cause I can't believe I'm seein'

That the type on my screen got converted to Korean

Then I got an email from myself

About Viagra, and a mortgage, and some foreign wealth

They put computers into everything: refrigerators, telephones

Toothbrushes, damn it why can't they leave 'em alone

I'm tellin' you now, I don't care how or why (how or why)

The day my television crashes, someone's goin' to die

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (please repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-repeat)

Whoops, there it goes again (uh-ohhhh)

All I did was click "start"

Whoops, there it goes again (I am in pain)

Whoops, there it goes again (I am dizzy)

Whoops, there it goes again (I would like to lie down)

Whoops, there it goes again (I would like to have my medicine)

(Help, digital errors)

(Please hurry, I would like to use the bathroom)

(I don't know where the bathroom is)

(Uh-oh)

(Please ignore last remark)