Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags)

Wait a minute, man

Ayy, check this out, man (let him tell it)

It was this blind man right (man, check it, ayy), it was this blind man right (this fool right here)

He was feelin' his way down the street with his stick right, ayy (yeah)

He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'? (Fish market?)

He stopped he took a deep breath, he said

Whoa, good morning ladies, hahaha

You like that shit, man? (That was pretty good, that was pretty good)

Ayy man, I got a gang of that shit, man

I'll tell you what

My man on the guitar

Ayy, fool on the drums

Ayy, everybody just crowd around the mic

I'll tell you all these motherfuckin' jokes I got (clap ya hands, man)

But first I'ma start off like that, ayy, help me sing it, homeboy

Come on

Said Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that's all we need

We can go to the park, after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

As the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale

Skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll, roll, the '83 Cadillac Coupe Deville

If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will

Well, it was just sundown in small white town

They call it East Side Palmdale (well)

When the Afroman walked through the white land

Houses went up for sale (hell)

Well, I was standing on the corner sellin' rap CDs

When I met a little girl named Jan

I let her ride in my Caddy

'Cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan (hahaha)

We fucked on the bed

Fucked on the floor

Fucked so long I grew a fuckin' afro

Then I fucked to the left (left)

Fucked to the right (right)

She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white

I thought to myself, "Sheeba-sheeba"

Got my ass lookin' like a zebra

I put on my clothes and I was on my way

Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet

So I ran, I jumped out the back window

But her daddy, he was waitin' with a two-by-four

Oh, he beat me to the left

He beat me to the right

The motherfucker whooped my ass all night

But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad

That's the best damn pussy I ever had

Got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine (woo)

I'm gonna fuck that bitch just one more time

Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that's all we need (come on)

We can go to the park, after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed (uh)

And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale

Skatin' on Dayton rims (come on)

So roll, roll, the '83 Cadillac Coupe Deville

If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will (uh)

I met this lady in Hollywood

She had green hair, but damn she looked good

I took her to my house 'cause she was fine

But she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan

Never made love with an African

I fucked her once, I fucked her twice

I ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya (tell ya)

I met a woman in the heart of Australia

Had a big butt and big titties too

So I hopped in her ass like a Kangaroo

See I met this woman from Hawaii

Stuck it in her ass and she said "aii"

Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch

Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch

Met Colonel Sanders wife in the state of Kentucky

She said I'd fry some chicken if you'd just fuck me

I came in her mouth, it was a crisis

I gave her my secret blend of herbs' n' spices

Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that's all we need (come on)

We can go to the park, after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed (uh)

And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

(Ayy, wait a minute, man, check this out, man, ayy)

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee

Her titties were filled with Hennessy

That country music really drove me crazy

But I rode that ass and said, "Yes, Miss Daisy"

Met this lady in Oklahoma

Put that pussy in a coma

Met this lady in Michigan

I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again

Met a real black girl down in South Carolina

Fucked her until she turned to a white albino

Fucked this hooker in Iowa

I fucked her on credit, so I owe her

Fucked this girl down in Georgia

Came in her mouth, man I thought I told ya

Met this beautiful sexy ho

She just ran across the border of Mexico

Fine young thing, said her name's Maria

I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla

I wanna get married but I can't afford it

I know I'ma cry when she get deported

Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that's all we need (come on)

We can go to the park, after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed (uh)

And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale

Skatin' on Dayton rims (come on)

So roll, roll, the '83 Cadillac Coupe Deville

If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will