Funky Cold Medina

Alright, dig it

Cold coolin' at a bar and I'm lookin' for some action

But like Mike Jagger said, 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction'

The girls are all around but none of them wanna get with me

My threads are fresh and I'm lookin' def, yo, what's up with L O C?

The girls all jockin' at the other end of the bar

Havin' drinks with some no-name chump

When they know that I'm the star

So, I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina

I asked the guy, why you so fly? He said, "Funky Cold Medina"

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks

Put a little Medina in your glass and the girls'll come real quick

It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac

A couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap

So, I gave some to my dog when he began to beg

Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me

And did the wild thing on my leg

He used to scratch and bite me before he was much, much meaner

But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina

You know what I'm sayin'?

I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin' down' my door

I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's

They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"

I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina

She said, I'd like a drink, I said, "Ehm, ok, I'll go get it"

Then a couple sips, she cold licked her lips

And I knew that she was with it

So, I took her to my crib and everything went well as planned

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man

So, I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener

You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

You know, ain't no plans with a man

This is the 80's and I'm down with the ladies

Break it down

Back in the saddle, lookin' for a little affection

I took a shot as a contestant on 'The Love Connection'

The audience voted and you know they picked a winner

I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner

She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'

Instead she started talkin' 'bout plans for our weddin'

I said, wait, slow down, love, not so fast, says, I'll be seein' ya

That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina

Ya know what I'm sayin'

That Medina's a monster, y'all