I Can’t Party

I saw a cute fluff ball at the coffee shop

I asked, "Can I pet it?"

She said, "Me, or the dog?"

I said, "Whoa, quick wit"

She said, "Pull up a chair

I've got a thousand dad jokes

I've been wanting to share"

She had me in stitches

Fully tickled

Hotter than Portman

Funnier than Rickles

She said, "My friends are in town tonight

And we're all going out

They're Swedish and single

And I'm showing them around

You wanna come with?

You seem cool and artsy"

That's when I broke the news

Honey, I, I, I

I can't party

I can't party

Party

I can't party

She said, "You should really reconsider

My friends, they are a blast

And if you get too tired

You could always crash

With us in my mansion

But we all share a bed

And sometimes fool around

After we are fed

My private chef is vegan

My private chef is great

Name your favourite meal

And she'll put it on your plate"

I thought, "Wow, she's rich

And clearly a smarty"

But I needed to reiterate

I, I, I

I can't party

I can't party

Party

I can't party

(I can't party)

I wish I could but you know I can't

(I can't party)

I wish I could but you know I can't

(I can't party)

I wish I could but you know I can't

(I can't party)

I wish I could but you know I can't

(I can't party)

Par, par, par, par

(I can't party)

Par, par, par, par, par, par, par

(Party)

Par, par, par, par

(I can't party)

Par, par, par, par, par, par

Par