Sorry Mama

This is a message to my mum

And mum, when you see it

I love you to the moon and back

Forever and always

I'm sorry mama, this shit don't feel the same

And I wish that I could hug you and you could heal all of my pain

But don't come inside my room

Cuz I'll just push you away

And that's the point where I get lost

It's confusing in my brain

I battle all of my problems till I feel like I've gone insane

I wanna cherish you mama

But I embarrass you mama

I can't stop scaring you mama

Are you aware of this mama?

Cuz I feel hopeless as hell

My body's crippled by anxiety

I'm choking right now

No, I'm not joking right now

And me just sending you this

Is me just being open right now

And I don't want you to feel

Like you have to hold the blame

It's not your fault that I cry

It's not your fault I feel pain

It's not your fault that we don't talk like we used to

But every time I mess up

I feel like I bruise you

The last thing I want in this world

Is to lose you

And I love you

But this shit is hard to get used to