Simp Detector

Well ma'am, the lab results came back and

This is hard to say but

Your son tested highly on our simp scale

Oh goodness gracious

But doctor, what does it even mean to be a simp?

Well son, allow me to explain

If you're only being nice

'Cause you wanna lay the pipe

You're a simp

You're a simp, you're a simp

When you pay for all the clothes

And then she says, "Thank you, bro"

You're a simp

You're a simp, you're a simp

You're a simp, you're a simp

No you've never been a pimp

You're a simp

You're a simp, you're a simp

Got no game, you's a lame

And that's why we ran a train on your bitch

You're a simp, you're a simp

Ayy, but don't worry kid

There's no need to stress

'Cause I know a way to make these hoes obsessed

You're trying too hard, this shit ain't complex

All you gotta do is just follow these steps

Don't cry like a bitch when she leaves you on read

Just focus on getting some money instead

When you pull up on her and flexing some bread

In a matter of moments, her legs will be spread

Once you get some cash, then work on your drip

You can't pull no hoes in that basic ass fit

Just cop you some ice to put on your wrist

And take of those cargo shorts, they look like shit

While we're on the topic, your hair needs some help

'Cause right now it looks like you cut it yourself

You better not pull up if you got a bowl cut

'Cause they gon' be laughing like, "What, are you twelve?"

Just one more step and then you'll be done

This battle's over, your war is won

You'll soon be proud of what you've become

Just listen up for rule number one

If you're tryna smash don't beg and plead

She won't let you fuck if you're on your knees

Stand up strong, don't be so weak

It ain't even hard, repeat after me

No, I won't do your homework just 'cause you hate math

And I'm not giving you a ride to your big date with Chad

Don't put pussy up on a pedestal, 'cause that shit is lame

And for any guy that does, I've got one thing left to say

You're a simp, you're a simp

No, you've never been a pimp

You're a simp

You're a simp, you're a simp

Got no game, you's a lame

And that's why we ran a train on your bitch

You're a simp, you're a simp

Oh my goodness, doctor

I never knew I could have so many bitches on my dick

You're my hero

I'm just doing my job, son