Sincerely, Me

Dear Evan Hansen

We've been way too out of touch

Things have been crazy

And it sucks that we don't talk that much

But I should tell you that I think of you each night

I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight

Why would you write that?

I'm just trying to tell the truth.

This needs to be perfect. These emails have to prove that we were actually friends. Just—I'll do it.

I've gotta tell you, life without you has been hard

Hard?

Has been bad

Bad?

Has been rough

Kinky!

And I miss talking about life and other stuff

Very specific.

Shut up!

I like my parents

Who says that?

I love my parents

But each day's another fight

If I stop smoking drugs

Then everything might be alright

Smoking drugs?

Just fix it!

If I stop smoking crack

Crack?!

If I stop smoking pot

Then everything might be alright

I'll take your advice

I'll try to be more nice

I'll turn it around

Wait and see

'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention

It's easy to change if you give it your attention

All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be

Sincerely, Me

Are we done yet?

Well I can't just give them one email. I want to show that I was, like, a good friend, you know?

Oh my god.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Yes, I also miss our talks

Stop doing drugs

Just try to take deep breaths and go on walks

No.

I'm sending pictures of the most amazing trees

No!

You'll be obsessed with all my forest expertise

Absolutely not.

Dude, I'm proud of you

Just keep pushing through

You're turning around

I can see

Just wait and see!

'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention

It's easy to change if you give it your attention

All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be

Sincerely, Me

My sister's hot

What the hell!

My bad.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Thanks for every note you send

Dear Connor Murphy,

I'm just glad to be your friend

Our friendship goes beyond

Your average kind of bond

But not because we're gay

No, not because we're gay

We're close, but not that way

The only man that I love is my dad

Well anyway!

You're getting better every day

I'm getting better every day

We're getting better every day

Hey hey hey hey!

'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention

It's easy to change if you give it your attention

All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be

Sincerely

Miss you dearly

Sincerely, Me

Sincerely, Me

Sincerely, Me

Sincerely, Me