Smoking Gun

Come easy, the champion

Come easy, the thunder gon' come

Come easy, damage is done

I'm the one, the smoking gun

It come easy, stuck in my ways

Come easy, contaminate the scenery

Damage is done

I'm the one, the smoking gun

The long arm of the law, they bust my front door

So I flush two pounds, then I flush two more

But I fucked up 'cause I left a pound in the drawer

Now I'm face down gettin' fucked by the law

Oh, shit, better dip and be quick to move

In the back room, we got six zips of shrooms

So I lick my lips and I sit to eat

Didn't get locked up, but I tripped for weeks

It come easy, the champion

Come easy, the thunder gon' come

Come easy, damage is done

I'm the one, the smoking gun

It come easy, stuck in my ways

Come easy, contaminate the scenery

Damage is done

I'm the one, the smoking gun

Met a chick named Jane with a thick ass frame

She's an ice-cold bitch but I love her the same

I come easy when she scream my name ("oh, Ren!")

Wait, bitch, what the fuck you say?

Ah, shucks, my bad, I was hittin' it, too

Fuck y'all, I'm out!

I guess I'm sticking with you

But I really wish I didn't, hindsight's a bitch

'Cause nine months later, she had Webby's kid

It came easy, fresh out the womb

Oh, Jesus! What should I do?

I called up the dude

And he said, "Fuck you

And oh, by the way, you got syphilis, too"

Now I'm seething, "That's what you get"

So I breathe in, reach for the neck

And squeeze him, but that shit don't hurt

'Cause I'm still feeling all them shrooms from last verse

Ah, shit, wait, Chris, are you feeling okay?

Well, the wall's kind of melting, but I'm otherwise straight

You sure? 'Cause judging by the state of you, mate

You're a mess, you're the one who's got a rash on his taint

You see, mine cleared up in a couple of days

But I don't got health care

Well, that's a damn shame

Just try not to scratch it, I've got to run

And oh, by the way, say hi to my son

Come easy, the champion

Come easy, the thunder gon' come

Come easy, damage is done

I'm the one, the smoking gun

It come easy, stuck in my ways

Come easy, contaminate the scenery

Damage is done

I'm the one, the smoking gun

Now it's 12 years later and the story's not done

Yeah, I know I sound like Chris but I'm not, I'm the son

See, I never met my father, but they say I got his voice

And luckily for me, my mother wasn't pro-choice

So the dumb bitch had me, but my fuckin' stepdad

He's some British cocksucker, always mean and unhappy

And I just wanna kill this motherfucker so bad

Oh, shit! He just got home, "Hi, Dad!"

I'm not your father, bitch, try and get it through your head

Your dad overdosed on mushrooms 12 years ago, he's dead

Otherwise, I wouldn't be stuck here having to raise you

You little shameful, ungrateful brat, I hate you!

Um, sure, Dad, I mean, Mr. Ren, you got it

I'ma shoot this motherfucker with the gun up in my closet

What you say?

I said uh, gum is stuck in my pocket

I don't know how I forgot it, but I should go and wash it

Fuck sake, you really are autistic as your father was

I guess that's the result of a pregnancy with a lot of drugs

You should've been an abortion, should've pulled the plug

You know what, Mr. Ren? Why don't you hold that thought?

Got the pistol from my closet, brought it downstairs quick

And then I held it out in front of me and aimed it at his dick

Wait a second, little man, hold on, let's talk through this

Don't be foolish, do you even know how to use it?

Yeah, I do, actually

I looked it up on YouTube

You fucking dickhead