The Diagnosis (Genshin Impact Fan Musical)

That's why rooming with Alhaitham is the worst

Oh, and another thing

He's been wearing my limited edition weasel house slippers!

Kaveh, stop complaining about Alhaitham

Besides

Why would he wear your slippers?

He's so much richer than you

If he wanted, he could buy thousands of them

On top of everything else

I think I'm getting sick

At the mention of Alhaitham maybe

Kaveh

As a Forest Watcher

I've seen my share of ailments

If you'd like with Cyno's help I can diagnose you

Do you think this is serious?!

Tell me what you see

Cheeks are sunken

Like an old man's as he dies

What?!

And from the bulging of your eyes

You've got the most severe of cases

That's just how my face is

Posture's shrunken

Nausea is your new routine

It's up to us to intervene

And shed a light on what your symptoms mean

All the indicators Tell us

You're jealous

Huh?!

It's safe to say Alhaitham's great renown

In Teyvat brings you down

They tell us You're jealous

You're diagnosed

Let's toast to nature's laws

Your symptoms have a cause

This is crazy!

What makes you think I'm jealous of Alhaitham

It's his look

It's his vibe

It's his status as a Scribe

Bet you nag him like a spouse

Because you can't afford his house

Hey!

It's the "clap, clap, claps"he got as Acting Grand Sage

Do you snap, snap, snap

Because his youth reminds you of your age?

Turn the page!

It could be the fact that you want his wage

Since you're always short of mora

You know dept like I know flora

For a second just reflect

And respect our intellect

Our theory isn't off-the-cuff it's obvious

I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!

Fellas, he's jealous

Oh, come on

No wonder why!

If I was broke as you

I'd feel pathetic too

As clues accrue

They tell us You're jealous

You're diagnosed

Let's toast to nature's laws

Your symptoms have a cause

You've been in

Denial

A while

But it'd be best

If you confessed the way you really feel

You'd share it

We'd hear it

Your spirit

Would soar

There's no need to conceal

What could help you to heal

So tell us

You're jealous

We're zealous

Cause we've been there before

You'd share it

We'd hear it

Your spirit

Would soar

Tell us you're jealous

The truth is a useful tool

Tell us you're jealous

Let's move on, so we can duel

Tell us you're jealous

You don't have to play pretend

Tell us you're jealous

Or this song will never end!

I'm jealous!

I knew it

Alhaitham?!

Yay!