Make Out Club

If I recall correctly

It was the middle of spring

Walkin' with my boys

Contemplating what summer will bring

We started talkin' about girls

And it was the funniest thing

As I started remembering some of my funniest flings

See there was Ashley

She caught my eye the very second that she passed me

I kissed her once

Then she started to harass me

She called all night long

I had to buy a brand new phone

And let me see

There was Melanie

To have a mouth like that should be a felony

Wouldn't believe half the shit that she was tellin' me

I mean dirty vocab

She used to talk like she was grown

And after that there was Tiffany

The one with the cute cousin

Are you kiddin' me?

She had a man

But that didn't mean shit to me

He tried to catch us all the time

But I was just too God damn smooth

And I can't forget to mention Carrie

But that situation quickly got scary

Cause after two days she's like "Let's get married"

Can you believe that shit?

I had to pack my bags and move!

They say I gotta change my evil ways

And I'm working hard at it every day but

No matter what I do

I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

If love is just a game that people play

And practice make perfect is what they say

But no matter what I do

I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

I'll always remember Monica

The Jewish chick

She'd always give me gifts for Hanukkah

To met her folks, she'd try and make me rock a yarmulke

But she looked so damn good

She almost made my ass convert

And after that there was Lisa

You know she had a twin sister, Teresa

I bumped into them at Cam's gettin' pizza

The greatest night of my life

Schlep's the rock that killed two birds

And there was Erica

She had the stankest breath in North America

I tried to slip her Tic-Tacs

But they were scared of her

And when we made out

I always had to plug my nose

And I suppose you know your sister

Chill, I swear my hand to God

I only kissed her

I gotta foot fetish

But she gotta lot a blisters

I mean, hammer-time feet

You think she had dead bugs for toes

They say I gotta change my evil ways

And I'm working hard at it every day but

No matter what I do

I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

If love is just a game that people play

And practice make perfect is what they say

But no matter what I do

I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

Yo Matt, remember Catherine?

She talked so much

I used to make her bring me aspirin

Blah, blah blah blah

I'm doin' fine thanks for askin'

I even tried to make a muzzle

But her mouth would just not quit

And oh shit

Remember Shawna

I hate to bring her up again

I didn't want her

That girl I talked about

In "That girl's a dog" song

Yea, the poster girl for Paxil

Almost made me lose my grip

And oh shit

There was Krystal

The meth head

She used to sniff like a fist full

One time she chased me down the street with a pistol

She tried to say I took her stash

She bugged out and tried to kill my ass

And at last we got Kimmy

She went abroad

Came back

And broke up with me

And so I ripped up all them letters that she sent me

I cried for like 3 days

Then it was back to my evil ways

They say I gotta change my evil ways

And I'm working hard at it every day but

No matter what I do

I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

If love is just a game that people play

And practice make perfect is what they say

But no matter what I do

I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

They say I gotta change my evil ways

And I'm working hard at it every day but

No matter what I do

I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

If love is just a game that people play

And practice make perfect is what they say

But no matter what I do

I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to