Even If I Never Get There

I'm a mess

Growing stagnant, I'm a fragment of my best

Something different, inconsistent, another miss

I don't know if I'll be getting up from this

(I digress)

'Cause I don't love myself like I'm supposed to

Every self-affirming thought I have just fades away with time

Never ask me, I don't want to lie to you

Still fighting, just in silence, there's a peace I'm yet to find

Cut and scrape and bend and break

Everything just stays the same

I just deteriorate

Who'd have thought I would be getting up again?

I'm a hater, getting tired of this trend

Win or lose, still, I move

Barely so, but I still do

I feel like I'm pulling through

And I've been breaking down my walls

'Cause I won't live inside forever

I just feel so fucking small

Bend and break, cut and scrape, all the better

Now my body's too worn out to second-guess

Writing verses just to nurse whatever's left

Still the same, I can change, not another rearrange

A cry for help, and no one came

And I've been breaking down my walls

'Cause I won't live inside forever

I just feel so fucking small

Bend and break, cut and scrape, all the better

I've been bracing for the fall

Sometimes, I wish I'd stayed inside

I can't run, but walking tall

Not too late, brand new day, I'll be better

Cut and scrape and bend and break

Everything just stays the same

I deteriorate