The Devil in My Bloodstream

We wiped out all the Buffalo

Around the turn of the last century,

And so it's factories and sawgrass,

Wheat fields and asphalt laid in front of me.

The Midwest feels like a hollow place

That we filled with love and industry.

And we're staring at the frozen ground in Goodwill suits,

Silent as the pastor reads the eulogy.

Well I wanted to see just a little bit of everything, let me be.

Two blackbirds on a highway sign

Are laughing at me at four in the morning.

They played the war drum out of time

So I'm not sure where I've been marching.

I wanna be strong, but it's not easy anymore.

I'm hoping I'm wrong.

It's sixteen hours straight to home

From the heart of North Missouri,

And so I searched through my great-grandpop's memoirs

For the devil in my bloodstream.

Depression grabbed his throat

And choked the life out of him slowly.

I've got the same blood coursing through my veins

And it'll come for me eventually.

I bet I'd be a fucking coward.

I bet I'd never have the guts for war,

'Cause I can't spend another month away from here.

These frantic rest stop phone calls don't get answered anymore.

But I, I wanted to know if I could please come home.

So let me know.

Two blackbirds on a highway sign

Are laughing at me at four in the morning.

They played the war drum out of time

So I'm not sure where I've been marching.

I wanna be strong, but it's not easy anymore.

I'm hoping I'm wrong.

I'm hoping I'm wrong.

I know how it feels to be

At war with a world

That never loved me.

Two blackbirds on a highway sign

Are laughing at me at four in the morning

They played the war drum out of time

So I'm not sure where I've been marching.

I wanna be strong.

I wanna be strong, but it's not easy anymore.