F.M.I.D.

Lately, I like to take walks after work wearing nothing but my undershirt

The wind picking up my eyes

The blood rushing back to my heart

There's a show on the corner with some kids I met in Oakland

You're sitting on the roof of your car parked right outside the record store

And have you seen my self-esteem?

It's picking up its feet out of the gutter it was laying in

"Just blowing off some steam"

It's fine, let's walk the tracks until my shorts are ripping at the seams

We'll drink a 40 and play polo in my single speeded dream

When she gets drunk, she calls me a loser and I get worried that I'll lose her

And have to make a bunch of new friends in another stupid town

And play my Game Boy on the front porch at Pergs

Tryin' to realize that the butterflies that live inside my stomach gotta die

And I leaned back and looked up, it said, "Fuck me, I'm drunk"

In sharpie on the ceiling of the 76 in downtown Arcata

This town's gone to shit, one day I'll learn to commit

But for now, I'm throwing pumpkins down the hill at Laurel and California

My lungs are blacker than the perique packs and pupils in your eyes

After the 40 minute real-talk all the way to In-N-Out

We drive each other to our tipping points

There's months of lean blunts, pizza joints

There's nothin' like the shit found out talking to your mom so late at night

And even though it's been getting easier lately

It takes a lot to convince me that people don't hate me

And sometimes, when I'm in the car with you guys

I feel like maybe I'm not that crazy

And I'm getting better, and some day I'll get all this straight inside my head

But right now I'm still trying to learn how to keep a steady circle of friends

But you gave me cocaine for my 19th birthday

And about a year ago that day, we almost got arrested at the movies

And I was just there talking with my hands shaking in my pockets

I looked at you and read your lips, they said, "I've got your back if you've got mine"