Slow Burn

It begins with a dark glowing ember

Something black burning its way out of me

Searing the flesh

Pain is the only thing I feel, scars all I see

Oh no the fires burning my insides again

What can I do to silence my desire tonight?

Flames consuming reason leaving only ashes left

You will catch me regretting my decision

I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear

I can't just close my eyes

I know that it's killing me

And it's poisoning the best in me

What I see, I don't want to believe

So let me tell you more, tell you more

About the lies I lead

That is how I chose to douse the flames in gasoline

Broken teeth replace blackout memories in my head

Wreckage from the past haunts me, shakes me to the bone

I know it's over but I can't go home tonight

But after this I feel as empty as the night before

Feel the pain and yet I'm still begging for more

Masochistic, nihilistic, urging backward thought

My life's a mess and I can't find a way to fix it

I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear

I can't just close my eyes (my eyes, my eyes, my fucking eyes)

I know that it's killing me

And it's poisoning the best in me

What I see, I don't want to believe

So let me tell you more, tell you more

About the lies I lead

Calling, calling out

The darkest reaches of my soul are riddled with self doubt

Crawling, crawling out

My will to fight will more than suffice when others would lay down

It's only as dark as you make it

I know that it's killing me

And it's poisoning the best in me

What I see, I don't want to believe

So let me tell you more, tell you more

About the lies I lead