Understand

Girl, I hope you understand I

Wanted to hold your hand, but I can't

Wanted to be your man back then

And you knew I fell for you, but you

Just broke my heart in two

I was sad, mad, and broken on my bed

Hoping I get rid of all the voices in my head

I was opening a packet of an undeveloped med

When I was met with a prescription of a bullet made of lead

And when I woke up in an hour in a pool of my own sweat

I said, "I swear to God I'll never even try to sleep again"

So instead I took my pen and started writing evidence

And when I started making sense, I found that I had reached the end

Oh, I'm upset, I have no friends, you wanna bet, you're just pretend?

You're just a pet confined within the lines of writing, you're not shit

I thought I stopped my psychopathic ways, I swear I did

I said I talked to people 'bout the problematic life I lived

They were my neighbors; razor blades and different flavored pills I hid

Therefore, I'm at surely my last straw

I'm so gassed, stuck in the past, I said that

Girl, I hope you understand I

Wanted to hold your hand, but I can't

Wanted to be your man back then

And so far I never held you with my arms

So it's hard to be the one you aren't with

Instead, filled with anxiety

Always was a part of me, guess I'm not cut out to be

Somebody 'cause it's not me, I'm not used to all the talking

Was an introvert that had converted feelings into writing

Used to cope with all my problems using notes and lots of rhyming

Used to hope for better days whenever nights would have me crying

I'm not lying when I say that I would rather die than go back

To the times that I would try and be the guy the people know as

Always fighting with the demons hiding far behind my eyelids

On an island full of violence, in my head I had two pilots

Oh, the sun don't shine, the skies turn gray

I feel it coursing through my veins

I said before I'm not okay

But you don't listen anyway

You know I tried, you turned away

Straight out lied right to my face

You fucked my life, ruined my day

But you don't know, so I'll say

Nothing can fill this silence

No one can love like I did (you don't know, so I'll say)

Nobody cares, you lied, it's

Not fair, you still deny it (so I'll say)

Nothing can fill this silence

No one can love like I did (you don't know, so I'll say)

Nobody cares, you lied, it's

Not fair, you still deny it (so I'll say)

Girl, I hope you understand I

Wanted to hold your hand, but I can't

Wanted to be your man back then

And too bad I know I can't wake up

Because I've lost my way, and you don't give a fuck about me

This could be a dream, I can't see the things that you see, so please, oh

Girl, I hope you understand I

Wanted to hold your hand, but I can't

Wanted to be your man back then

And you had known and played along, you

Were my home, I wrote you songs

Now you're dead to me, effectively

Remove yourself outside my dreams