I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual

People are telling me

That I'm missing out on the fun

'Cause I don't go anywhere

And I don't meet anyone

But I know how rumors fly

When you're a lonely guy

And I'm here to tell you it's a lie

There's strange things going on

At night most everywhere

You know those places well

And you've never seen me there

I walk by other men

And I don't notice them

But then those rumors start again

So I'm gonna tell the world

I don't wanna be a homosexual

I'm gonna find a girl

'Cause I don't wanna be a homosexual

I guess that it's okay

If other guys are gay

But my hormones are one-directional

And I don't wanna be a homosexual

Somebody tell me what I did to start this talk

Is it the way I look; is it the way I walk?

Is it the clothes I wear

That make the people stare?

Is it the way I comb my hair?

I'm only hoping maybe there will come a day

When I can make them understand that I'm not gay

But till that day is here

I guess I'll live in fear

And I curse the day I pierced my ear

There's nothing wrong with me

I don't wanna be a homosexual

Know what I want to be

And I don't wanna be a homosexual

Soft boys and closet queens

Think Judy Garland's keen

But I don't think she's nothing special

And I don't wanna be a homosexual

So now I'm wondering if maybe they're not right

I've gone all paranoid and I can't sleep at night

I went to see the shrink

What did the doctor think?

I swear to God I saw him wink

I pray that I am wrong

I don't wanna be a homosexual

Why did I write this song

If I don't wanna be a homosexual?

I hope it's not too late

For them to set me straight

I'm gonna see a real professional

'Cause I don't wanna be a homosexual

No

No, no, no, no

No, no, no, no, no

No, no, no, no, no, no

I don't wanna be a homosexual . . .

I don't wanna go with guys named Seamus

I don't wanna be rich and famous

I don't wanna go to a French art festival

I don't wannt be a homosexual

I guess that it's okay

If other guys are gay