Chip on My Shoulder

Whoa, Elle?

What's up, doc?

Love

(Excuse me?)

I put my faith in love

I followed where it led

(Love led you here?)

To my personal circle of hell

It has not worked out well

I wish that I were dead

'Cause instead of a wedding and love

I'm flunking out of school

A total laughing stock

Someone he and his friends can just mock

So, go on, here's my head

Just hit it with a rock!

Wait, go back

You came out here to follow a man?

Harvard Law was just part of that plan?

Man, what rich, romantic planet are you from?

Malibu?

Instead of lying outside by the pool

You stalk some guy to an Ivy League school

That's the weirdest reason I have-

Oh, why'd you come?

Okay

I grew up in the Roxbury slums

With my Mom and a series of bums

Guys who showed me all the ways a man can fail

I got through law school by busting my ass

Worked two jobs in addition to class

So, forgive me for not weeping at your tale

Well, excuse me

Just because you've got some kind of chip on your shoulder

You know what?

You're right

There's a chip on my shoulder

And it's big as a boulder

With the chance I've been given

I'm gonna be driven as hell

I'm so close, I can taste it

So, I'm not gonna waste it

Yeah, there's a chip on my shoulder

You might wanna get one as well

I'm sorry, but that sounds highly negative

Wait! Two jobs, plus law school?

How do you do it?

Well

I don't go to parties a lot

Not good use of the time that I've got

Can't spend hours doin' my hair and stayin' in shape

I don't spend hours!

But I know it'll all be worthwhile

When I win my first lucrative trial

And buy my Mom that great big house out on the cape

Oh, that's so sweet

No, that's the chip on my shoulder

I hugged my Mom and told her

With the chance I've been given

I'm gonna be driven as hell

Though I can't take the day off

I just think of the payoff

You need a chip on your shoulder

Little Miss Woods comma Elle

I just need to prove to everyone that I'm serious

What you need is to get to work

Where are your law books?

Um, well, I know they're here somewhere

You know, this vanity's real picturesque

But it started its life as a desk

Clear it off and find some room for books instead

What are you doing?

Can you live without this?

Can you live without that?

I don't know what this is

It's for hair

Wear a hat

Spend some time improving what's inside your head

Out, out, put it in storage

Sell it on eBay, leave it behind

Out, out, what, are you angry?

Good, so get angry, you may find

The chip on your shoulder (ugh!)

Ooh, the room just got colder (hey!)

But with the chance you've been given

Why are you not driven as hell?

There's just no way around it

You've gotta plough through 'til you-

Found it!

Been reading it hard, I can tell

('Tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free)

(Mmm)

Bye, Warner!

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Say hi to your Mom and Dad for me

And Grandma Bootsie

Define malum prohibitum

Malum prohibitum is, um

An act prohib-

An act prohibited by law

Like jaywalking or chewing gum in Singapore

Therefore, malum in se

Is an action, that's evil in itself

Assault, murder, white shoes after Labor Day

Good

Where are you going?

Home, of course

It's Thanksgiving break, remember?

Interesting

What?

Well, I predict you will probably pass (yes!)

In the bottom percent of your class (what?)

If you're going for mediocre, you've done great

That's not fair

Look, they laughed at me, like they're laughing at you

We can't win if we don't follow through

Might I venture your vacation plans can wait?

Why do you always have to be right?

(Gloria)

(In excelsis deo)

Bye, Warner!

Merry Christmas!

Enjoy Vale!

Ho, ho, ho!

Emmett!

For you

Not as good as going home for Christmas, but

You are too sweet

It's a real time saver

Shampoo and conditioner in one

Thank you, you are so adorable to think of me

Elle, hey!

Warner!

Have you seen Vivienne? I've been looking for her everywhere

Yeah, I mean, no

Great, we're gonna miss our flight

Um, Elle?

I don't know if you've noticed before

But each time Warner walks through the door

Your IQ goes down to 40, maybe less (huh?)

Though it's hardly my business to say

Could it be the real thing in your way

Is the very guy you're trying to impress?

Yes!

I've been smiling and sweet

And thoroughly beaten, blowing my chance

Let's not chase him away

Let's face him and say, "hey, punk, let's dance!"

This chip on my shoulder

Makes me smarter and bolder

No more whining or blaming

I am reclaiming my pride

Grab that book and let's do this

Instead of doodling hearts all through this

Now, there's a chip on my shoulder (chip on my shoulder)

Let's see him knock it aside (ah)

(Daughter of Delta Nu)

(Show 'em that you're no fool)

(Daughter of Delta Nu)

(Go back to school with a big chip on your shoulder)

Mr. Latimer was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation

Without his sperm, the child in question wouldn't exist

Now you're thinking like a lawyer

Yes, Ms. Woods?

Mr. Huntington makes an excellent point

But, did the defendant keep a log

Of every sperm emission made throughout his life?

Interesting, why do you ask?

Well, unless the defendant attempted to contact every sexual encounter

To find if a child resulted from those unions

He has no parental claim over this child whatsoever

Why now? Why this sperm?

I see your point

And, by Mr. Huntington's standard

All masturbatory emissions where the sperm was clearly

Not seeking an egg could be called reckless abandonment

Ms. Woods, you just won your case

Omigod (wait, hold on, we just won the case)

Omigod (Elle got all up in Warner's face)

Omigod (I am starting to like this place)

Omig-

Ms. Woods, excellent work today

I assume you're applying for my internship

Do you have a resumé?

I'm one step ahead of you

Here you go, and thanks in advance for your consideration

Dear God, it's scented

Three months ago, I would've recycled this

Make sure to put it on file

Guess she got a chip on her shoulder

Maybe some wise man told her

With the chance we've been given

We've gotta be driven as hell!

She was something to see there

I'm just happy I could be there!

First big test and she aced it

She's so close, she can taste it!

She got a chip on her shoulder

Guess you never can tell

With little Miss Woods comma Elle!

(Elle Woods)

(Woods comma Elle, chip on her shoulder)

(Elle Woods)

(Woods comma Elle, chip on her shoulder)

No, you never can tell (Elle Woods, woods comma Elle)

With little Miss Woods comma Elle