God Bless America

Here's another slogan. Here's another slogan you run into all the

Time: "God bless America". Once again, respectfully, I say to myself

"What the fuck does that mean?" God bless America? Is that a request?

Is that a demand? Is that a suggestion? Politicians say it at the

End of every speech, as if it were some sort of verbal tic that they

Can't get rid of. "God bless you and God bless America. God bless

You and God bless America." I guess they figure if they leave it out

Someone's gonna think they're bad Americans. Let me tell you a little

Secret about God, folks. God does not give a flying fuck about

America, okay? He doesn't care. He never cared about this country

He never has, He never will, He doesn't care about this country any

More than He cares about Mongolia, Transylvania, Pittsburgh, the Suez

Canal or the North Pole. He simply doesn't care, okay? He doesn't

Care. Listen, hey, there are 200 countries in the world now. Do these

People honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his

Favorites? Why would He do that? Why would God have a favorite

Country? And why would it be America out of all the countries?

Because we have the most money? Because He likes our national

Anthem? Maybe it's because He heard we have 18 delicious flavors

Of classic Rice-A-Roni. It's delusional thinking. It's delusional

Thinking. And Americans are not alone with these sort of delusions

Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed

Dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side

America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray

For God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed

Somebody's wasting their fucking time. Could it be... everyone?

Now, now, tell you... ah, if people want to say "God bless America"

That's their business, I don't care, but here's what I don't

Understand. If they say "God bless America", presumably, they believe

In God. And if they do, they must have heard God loved everyone

That's what He said. He loved everyone and He loved them equally

So why would these people ask God to do something that went against

His own teachings? You know what these "God bless America" people

Ought to do? They ought to check with that Jesus fellow they're so

Crazy about. They're always talking about "What would Jesus do? What

Would Jesus do?" They don't want to know so they can do it. They just

Want to know so they can tell other people to do it. Well, I'll tell

You what Jesus would have done. I'll tell you what Jesus would have

Done. He would have got up on the top of the Empire State Building

And said, "God bless everyone around the world forever and ever till

The end of time." That's what Jesus would have done and that's what

These people should do, or else they should admit that "God bless

America" is really just some sort of an empty slogan with no real

Meaning except for something vague like "Good luck". "Good luck

America, you're on your own." Which

Is a little bit closer to the truth