Please Don't Scream

I remember quite well

The first time I took you home

We were so young

I didn't think much of you

Sure you were cute and full of tricks

And a whole lot brighter than a guinea pig

But I didn't think much of you back then

And I think you loved me first

Cause it sure took me a while

To figure out

That you were kinda special

But now you're old and full of ticks

And you yell at everybody just for kicks

And I wish that you would just shut up

Why do you scream at me

Why do you scream

I don't know why you have to do that

Cause things don't seem

All that bad to me

Oh I'm beggin' you please

Baby please don't scream

Do you remember that old cat

Who beat you up so bad

You almost didn't make it

I almost couldn't take it

But now you're mean and paranoid

There's not a piece of this house that you haven't destroyed

And I wish that you would just shut up.

You know I've loved a lot of men

And moved far away from them

And I hate to say it

But you're my oldest friend

And I'm glad you're around

Cause you still know how to make my favorite sound

But then I wish that you would just shut up.