Mr. Sands

Soon as you like, ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

In a moment there'll be a test of your endurance.

Stay in your chairs in the event of a dramatic pause

Please be aware nothing gets covered by insurance.

One final thing:

Please take the trouble to read through your notes,

It's important that you know where you've got to go to.

Wait a moment, maybe the usherette'll show you.

Such excitement, these are the hoops you've got to go through...

The noises off that turn you on stage whispered from the wings,

A stifled cough, a joke that bombs, a smoldering fuse wire string.

When Mr. Sands is in the house the alarm bells start to ring.

Everything's in code

In a world we barely know

And the truth is only slowly revealed...

With best intentions I have strayed far off the beaten track

And of attention I displayed a quite spectacular lack.

Now Mr. Sands is in the house and the panic button's smacked.

Well, Mr. Sands is in the house: commotion in the stalls

And, from the gods, unruly shouts that echo round the hall

Yes, someone's let the secret out... the safety curtain falls.

And as I look across the stage the thought that first occurs

Is less that we have come of age and more that we're preserved

To pass our time in different shades of ignorant reserve.

Everything's in code

Till the moment it explodes

We suspend belief, get ready to go

For the playout of the show -

Here it is for all we know

Mr Sands is always ready to roll