The Revolution Was Postponed Because Of Rain

Cool and steady and easy

And make them like it

Well

The revolution was postponed because of rain

The underlying immediate political socio-economic

And trigger mechanism causes were all in place when

Some nee-gro or the other got hungry

Had to stop at the McDonald's

Had to get on the line with the new trainee cashier

"Uhh, where's the button for the fries?"

So we missed the bus

Then the leader couldn't find his keys

Didn't want some poor ass moving

His brand new 20" and VCR

Out his living room on the shoulders

It was too late when the locksmith came

Then our demo expert Willie Blue got arrested

Came out with his head hanging under his hoody

"Didn't know they started doing that

For jumping the turnstiles," he said

"How many times must we tell you -

Don't. get. caught."

We voted against shooting him on the spot

In the winter we were all depressed

So we leaned our guns up against the sofas

And listened instead to Tim Tim 3

Singing about his dysfunctions

Cool and steady and easy

And make them like it

Well

He sang

"Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be free

Free of the sins of my brutish daddy

Like the cheating, the stealing, the drinking

And the beating"

The weatherman said the 17th would be sunshine

And it wouldn't be too hot

Tim Tim 3 doesn't like sweatin'

But that night the weatherman came on crying

Saying he didn't control the weather

That God was real

That he's lucky He, God, didn't strike him

The weatherman, with lightning

For taking the credit sometimes

And that he, the weatherman, was in no way responsible

For the hurricane coming

And that we, the viewers, should

Pray Jesus into our hearts

Before it was too late

Superbowl Sunday was out

All the women wanted to see the game

And the men were pissed

At their insensitivity

The 20th was supposed to be a definite

We looked for some Bastille to storm

Didn't find any

Settled on the armoury instead

Before they moved the homeless in

"We'll bum-rush it anyway," I said

"It smells like a collection

Of a thousand farts in there," they said

So we waited for the approval of the city

Contract to build a Bastille

Which set the revolution back five years

Cool and steady and easy

And make them like it

Well

Peace wanted to start the revolution on Tuesday

She was in a pissed-off mood

Her tax return didn't come in time for the rent

But they showed the We Are the World video

On cable that evening

And we all held hands

And cried to stop from laughing

And our anger subsided

Looking back, it could've been a plot

But there are more substantive plots to expose

Than the We Are the World conspiracy

Now we wait for the rain to stop

All forces on the alert

Some in Brooklyn basements

Packed in between booming speakers

Listening to Shabba Ranks and Arrested Development

Bogling and doing the East coast stomp

Gargling with Bacardi and Brown Cow

Breaking that monotony with slow movements -

Slow, hip-grinding movements

With the men breathing in the women's ears to

Earth Wind & Fire's Reasons

And wondering what the weather will be like

Next weekend