Highly Illogical

From far beyond the galaxies I've journeyed to this place

To study the behavior patterns of the human race

And I find them highly illogical

Girl meets boy they fall in love

She says he's everything she's dreamed of

But when they get married before he's aware

She changes his habits the way he combs his hair

She changes him to someone he's never been

And then complains he's not like other men

Now really I find this most illogical

Take the case of your automobiles

Greatest invention since man discovered wheels

Hydromatic overdrive four-on-the-floor

Pushbutton windows pushbutton doors

Double barreled carborators rush you any place

But you never can find a parking space

Highly illogical

Take the case of modern man

He works all his life gives it all he can

Saves all his money works overtime

Pinches every penny banks every dime

All he can think about is money but you know

That he can't take it with him where he's going to go

Now I find that fascinatingly illogical

Now is the time to journey home to tell of what I've learned

My people I believe have every right to be concerned

For in spite of computers and advanced psychology

Behavior patterns are still a mystery

I predict the future of this earthly human race

Is that having made a mess of Earth

They'll move to outer space

Well there goes the neighborhood

Totally, completely, absolutely, irrevocably, highly illogical.