Wicked and Weird

[verse 1]

Driving with a yellow dog, I95

He's got a smile on his face and big shiny eyes

Up at a decent hour, never ate yet

Got a little Johnny Cash in the ol' tape deck

Nothing in the trunk but some base ball gloves

A pair of jumper cables and a set of golf clubs

Blanket on the back seat, we're in rough shape

Sunroof held on with a bit of duct tape

Looking for a gas station, better make a list

Fill'er up with regular, I need to take a piss

Sexy girl air freshener, snacks and that pinwheel

Top up the fluids, clean the bugs off the windshield

Not a care in the world, not a how and a why

No destination, not a cloud in the sky

Back on the road not a moment too soon

Dish ran away with some other spoon

[chorus x2]

Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog with an old dog

Singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on

Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish

Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress

[verse 2]

Hole in the muffler, ghosts on the shoulder

Cough drops, loose change in the beverage holder

To roll down the window, you gotta use a wrench

Been thinking about brushing up on my french

Right there in the glove box, if you should look

You'll find 40 parking tickets and a copy of the Good Book

Don't bother looking, you'll never find me

I'm starting from scratch and leaving trouble behind me

[chorus x2]

Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog with an old dog

Singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on

Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish

Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress

Wicked, wicked, wicked and weird

[verse 3]

Christ Almighty, there's a rattle in the wheel well

Dog fell asleep and man, I don't feel well

But all I need's a half decent breakfast

And I'll be back at it, dirty and reckless

Five o'clock shadow, lips like mudflaps

Hands like eagle's talons, eyes like hub caps

The further I get, I keep goin' faster

Whispers in the wind and cows in the pasture

I have no plans and nothin' to prove either

I eat out of a bag and sleep in a movie theatre

The highway's a story teller, I just write it down

Already been beaten, there's no way to fight it now

I just kick back and keep warm on the cold days

And laugh 'cause it ain't like it was in the old days

I figure when I make it to the Heavenly gates

They'll be working on my car and playing '78's

[chorus x2]

Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog with an old dog

Singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on

Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish

Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress