Crazier Best Friend

(I'll tell her that, "I told you so", then fuck you up)

Ashley has a tendency to fall for bad guys

Caroline, she likes 'em sweet, and Zoey likes when they lie

Victoria has some daddy issues

She likes 'em older, kinda mean with tattoos

Every Sunday, we hold what I call a "town meeting"

Go over dos and don'ts, who got away, and who's cheating

"Saw Joey with Makayla", "Ugh, he left me on read"

He said, "I miss you", and I ended up back in his bed

Don't do something you'll regret

Oh, I meant it when I said

"Hurt her and you'll end up dead"

Break her heart and you're also breaking mine

I'm the one she calls when you make her cry

Had her convinced that she was the only one

I'll tell her that, "I told you so", then fuck you up

Saw the warning signs when all she saw was wow

A guy like you is always gonna let her down

If you're thinking that she'll be a crazy ex

Let me introduce you to her crazier best friend

Lucky for you today, I kinda feel like being nice

So we don't have to bring up how you love to lie 'bout your height

A mummy's boy, it's kinda weird

If you want commitment, you won't find it here

(She literally needs to go to therapy)

Break her heart and you're also breaking mine

I'm the one she calls when you make her cry

Had her convinced that she was the only one

I'll tell her that, "I told you so", then fuck you up

Saw the warning signs when all she saw was wow

A guy like you is always gonna let her down

If you're thinking that she'll be a crazy ex

Let me introduce you to her crazier best friend

(Like he's literally balding)

(Crazier)

Rule one, never ever get attached

Rule two, better master your revenge

Rule three, get together all his exes

Post a picture and unblock him, always gonna be so desperate

Rule four, never show him that you care

Rule five, promise after him, you won't cut your hair

Rule six, if he wanted to he would

A guy that really loves you is gonna treat you right

Break her heart and you're also breaking mine

I'm the one she calls when you make her cry

Had her convinced that she was the only one

I'll tell her that, "I told you so", then fuck you up

Saw the warning signs when all she saw was wow

A guy like you is always gonna let her down

If you're thinking that she'll be a crazy ex

Let me introduce you to her crazier best friend