Illegal Smile

When I woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad

Seem like total silence was the only friend I had

Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won

And it was twelve o'clock before I realized

That I was havin', no fun

Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality

And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile

It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while

Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone

No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun

Last time I checked my bankroll, it was gettin' thin

Sometimes it seems like the bottom

Is the only place I've been

Chased a rainbow down a one-way street, dead end

And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen

Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality

And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile

It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while

Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone

No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun

Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls

Tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls

I dreamed the police heard

Everything I thought, what then?

Well I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman

Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality

And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile

It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while

Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone

No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun

Well done, hot dog bun, my sister's a nun