Kev's Wedding Waltz

The bride and the groom, had entered the room,

And hand in hand walked 'cross the floor,

As the band on the stage, started to play,

The traditional ol' bridal waltz,

As they waltzed round the floor, the old folks applauded

And the younger ones whistled and cheered,

And as he held her tightly on their wedding night,

He whispered in his blushing bride's ear:

"I'd rather be fuckin' than dancin',

I'd rather be rootin' than here,

I'd rather be sinkin' me teeth in your ass,

Or stickin' me tongue in your ear,

I'd rather be shaggin' your brains out,

And I wish all these bastards'd go,

And I'd rather be fuckin' than dancin',

'Cause me gonads are about to explode, oh no,

So I'd rather be fuckin' than dancin'".

And the toasting in champagne and beer,

And the reading of the telegrams and faxed congratulations

And wishing absent friends were all here,

While the handsome young groom, just sat there a grinnin',

As the bride wiped a tear from her cheek,

'Cause under the table he was gropin' her growler

While she had a hold of his meat.

"I'd rather be fuckin' than dancin',

I'd rather be rootin' than here,

I'd rather be sinkin' me teeth in your dick,

Or stickin' me tongue in your ear or your ass

And I'd rather be shaggin' your brains out,

And I wish all these bastards'd go,

And I'd rather be fuckin' than dancin',

'Cause me ovaries are about to explode, oh no",

"Me gonads are about to explode we gotta go,

We'd rather be fuckin' than dancin'".