Only Straight Girls Wear Dresses

"Only straight girls wear dresses," It read upon the stall

While the dyke who wrote it must not have a brain at all

I got all perturbed, yes, I got mighty mad

At all the assumptions made about my clad

So I left the ladies' lounge in a cloud of perfume

When I saw the same gal who vandalized the bathroom

She looked at me from across her foamy brew

Checked out my hot pants and fancy hair-dew

I saw a spark of interest in her half closed eyes

So I moseyed over to her feeling sex between my thighs

I said, "You're kinda cute with hidden zeal"

She turned to me and said, "Hey, are you for real?"

"Only straight girls wear dresses," it read in her eyes

If I had been in my Levi's

She'd be quick to lick

But because I'm in a mini-skirt, she thinks I suck to(e)-dick

So I flicked my Bic and lit my self an Ultra Slim

I said, "One date with me, you'll never be the same again"

She said, "You think you know about a women's pleasure?"

"Hun, what I know is too much to measure..."

I grabbed her chin

She gave a slight grin

I said, "Bitch I'm not a talent scout

If you fuck with me, I'm gonna wear you out..."

She said, "I've never been one to back down from a dare

I'll see what you're made of anytime, anywhere."

"Then get your fat butt off that bar seat

I'm not gonna do you where all can see...

You screamin' under my hand

Your entire body under my command."

She followed my tail back to the room of sin

Where her dream-come-true was about to begin

I got both hands into her tight-waist band

Our eyes were locked and that's where I began

I slammed her firmly up against the wall

Undid her buttons so her jeans could fall

Tugged on the snaps of her black leather vest

Low and behold I found two fine breasts

I began to shiver but I played it cool

"Don't let them see you sweat," is my golden rule

I had a crush on this girl since two months ago

But to a dish like me, she was stone cold...

Putty in my hands; she was what I was kissing

Only now what she find out what she'd been missing

I took her mouth; it was hot and wet

While my hands roamed, she was loosing her façade

Her pussy was dripping and I heard her say, "Please"

So I whipped out my latex and went between her knees

Her legs squeezed me tight, she could not resist

Meanwhile I wondered how she'd feel around my fist

I ate her up like a ripe, fresh mango

Her butt was jerkin' like a double-time tango

She's breathing hard and clawing at my head

Could she come standing up or should I pull her down instead?

This girl was wet with sweat and lust, I could see

I began to wonder what she would do for me

She began to drool and I heard a loud wail

Then she came with a tremor that measured on the Rhictor Scale

"Only straight girls wear dresses" glared in red above her head

As she stared at me with surprise and respect

"Now before you eat me, you better eat those words..."

She grabbed me by the neck and the rest is a blur