Genius In France

I'm not the brightest crayon in the box

Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks

I barely even know how to put on my own pants

But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France

Genius in France

Hoom chaka laka, hoom chaka laka, hoom chaka

I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese

I got a negative number on my SATs

I'm not good looking and I don't know how to dance

But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence

I am still widely considered to be a

Genius in France, genius in France

Genius in France

People say I'm a geek

A moronic little freak

An annoying pipsqueak

With an unfortunate physique

If I was any dumber

They'd have to water me twice a week

But when the Mademoiselles see me

They all swoon and shriek

They dig my mystique

They think I'm c'est magnifique

When I'm in Par-ee

I'm the chicest of the chic

They love my body odor and my bad toupee

They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret

And when I'm sipping on a Perrier

In some café town in St. Tropez

It's hard to keep the fans at bay

They say, "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait"

"Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait"

Hemenene, humenene

Hemenene, humenene

Poodle, poodle

Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool

Got too much chlorine in my gene pool

A few peas short of a casserole

A few buttons missing on my remote control

A few fries short of a Happy Meal

I couldn't pour water out of a boot

With instructions on the heel

Instructions on the heel

Instructions on the heel

But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants

Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants

And if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this response

(He's a genius in France, genius in France)

That's right

(He's a genius in France, genius in France)

You know it

(He's a genius in France, genius in France

Genius in France)

I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree

But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree

They say, "Bonjour, Monsieur

Would you take ze picture with me?"

I say, "Oui, oui"

That's right, I say, "Oui, oui"

"Oui, oui"

He says, "Oui, oui"

I'm dumber than a box of hair

But those Frenchies don't seem to care

Don't know why, mon frere

But they love me there

I'm a genius in France

Yeah, I'm a genius in France

Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes

Gonna make those Frenchies scream

"You ze man, you ze man, you ze man"

Like a fine Renoir (oir)

I've got that je ne sais quoi (quoi)

Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la)

I've got that je ne sais

Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo

Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo

Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy

Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy

Bow

I'm a taco short of a combo plate

But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm great

Oh, the men all faint and the women scream

They like me more than heavy cream

When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy

My oh my, I'm as French as apple pie

(apple pie)

They think I'm awfully witty

A riot and a half

When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh

(Hon hon hon hon hon)

And laugh

(Hon hon hon hon hon hon)

People in France have lots of attitude

They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting food

But when they see me, they just come unglued

They think that I am one happening dude

Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm

I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball

But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle

Entre nous, it's very true

The room temperature's higher than my IQ

But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu

How did this happen? I don't have a clue (yeah)

I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm

I don't have any skills or grace or charm

And most people look at me like I'm all covered with ants

But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France

Genius in France

And I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back

I'm never never never never goin' back home again

I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket

Gonna tell the folks back here where they can stick it

'Cause I'm never goin' back

I'm never goin' back

I'm never goin' back

The girls back home never gave me a chance

But I sure 'nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance

And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance

But "Great Googily Moogily", I'm a genius in France

Every Frenchie that I meet

Just can't wait to kiss my feet

Get in line, pucker up, tout suite

Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy

I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour

I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power

Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower

A little more to the left, boys

A little more to the left

A little more to the left, boys

A little more to the left

I'm the biggest dork there is alive

My mom picked out my clothes for me

'til I was 35

And I forgot to mention

I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention

But the Frenchies think

That my poop don't stink

I'm a genius in France

Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon?

Merci beaucoup