Last Letter

I put the barrel to my head and send a text to my mother

I'd be better off dead

The message said

Reggie text me back saying that's some nonsense

I hit her back

Mama, I think that I've fucking lost it

Got some pills in my system and some liquor down my throat

I'm not playing the victim, I hate being on my road

She trying call me now but I won't answer my phone

Sweat going down my head, losing feeling in my toes

Hand shaking from my nerves but I won't drop that gun

Time to take my fucking life, I swear to god that I'm done

Hand slippеd and hit "answer the phone"

I can hear her screaming saying; "Please, Parker don't go!"

Not your time to fucking leave, it's time to take a breath

Parker just breathe

Five minutes away, can you please wait for me

My mouth is so numb, I can't say no words to her

It hurts even more because I know my worth to her

I know I'm selfish for deserting her

But I can't tell if it's worse for her, or if it's worse for me

I take it to the forest, let them fucking search for me

I got my shoes tied, dirty Nike's on my feet

Pills are finally kicking in, I can barely even see

I open up that door, my problems started to flee

Cause the pain that started this will be over for me

I hope it will be over for me

I've been feeling lonely, lately

What if I go?

Will I find peace for me? Maybe

Last letter that I wrote

Last letter that I wrote

Walking along the train tracks alone again

Got my girl on the phone again

This shit you can't take back, now I'm losing hope again

Memories play back, I just don't know how to cope with them

Tell her that I'm tryna' keep my head up but I'm fed up and

I don't hear the voice inside that tells me to get up and

Because of her, that I'm tryna' hold it together

My body folding as I'm holding this phone and writing my final letter

Now she's crying and screaming tryna' believe it

I feel like I'm dying, I'm leaving

My knuckles hurt from all the punching, I've been fighting my demons

Now she's running like she's never done, trying to breathe and

No rush babe, it's something that I'm done with

I've thought about this many times; how I'm fucking nothing

And I don't see no love and, I look around

I look around for something to remind me to stick around

But I see nothing so fuck it

(Fuck it, fuck it)

Now she's tryna' talk me out of it

Screaming, calm down

There's other ways to go about it

"Sorry, I didn't believe you", why would I ever doubt it?

I'm coming over now, there no way to ever stop it

Nah

Sitting in my hoodie

Sweat is pouring and I'm nervous

Think of what I could be if everything was more perfect

Should I take the leap of faith? There's no reason why I shouldn't

When this world only made me see and believe in

What I couldn't

Damn, we almost didn't put through

And if we didn't me and Parker wouldn't be talking to you

For all of you, who come from broken hearts and broken homes

Know that you're not lost just 'cause you're a broken soul